B

(1927—1996)

U.S. humorist

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

(1927—1996)

U.S. humorist

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

(1927—1996)

U.S. humorist

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

(1927—1996)

U.S. humorist

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.

(1927—1996)

U.S. humorist

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

(1927—1996), 1982

God invented man and I can do better than that.

(1883—1983)

U.S. musician

Be grateful for luck. Pay the thunder no mind--listen to the birds. And don't hate nobody.

(1883—1983)

U.S. musician

If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself.--Eubie [James Herbert]

Blake (1883—1983)

U.S. musician

Essays, "Of Seeing Wise."

The French are wiser than they seem, and the Spaniards seem wiser than they are.

Silence is a virtue of fools.