C
Contents of C:
(1937-- )
U.S. comedian
Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
(1937--)
U.S. comedian
I think we should all treat each other like Christians. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
(1937--)
U.S. comedian
In TV today, you can say I pricked my finger, but you can't say it the other way around.
(1937--2008)
U.S. comedian
Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Here's a bumper sticker I'd like to see:
"We are the proud parents of a child who's self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn't need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."
If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.