D

(1867—1936)

U.S. journalist

The only good husbands stay bachelors; they're too considerate to get married.

(1867—1936), 1900

U.S. humorist

Ye can lade a man up to th' university, but ye can't make him think.

Even if you understood women--you'd never believe it.

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?

Swedes are fake Norwegians.

"Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars."

DVM

Cats are just little hair factories.

The Scots invented golf--which could also explain why they invented Scotch.

The quiet Irishman is about as harmless as a powder magazine built over a match factory.

Work, work hard — comprehension will show up subsequently.