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What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.

(1933--), Irish actor

I've formed a new group called Alcoholics Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you.

You may have a dog that won't sit up, roll over or even cook breakfast, not because she's too stupid to learn how but because she's too smart to bother.

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."

(1907—1988), US science-fiction novelist

Being intelligent is not a felony. But most societies evaluate it as at least a misdemeanor.

It's easier to graduate than to learn.

(1907—1988)

U.S. sci-fi writer

An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

(1907—1988)

U.S. sci-fi writer, in novel The Moon is a Harsh Mistress

Don't explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to virgins.

(1907—1988), Time Enough for Love

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss.

(1907—1988), US science-fiction novelist

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.