H

(1896—1963)

U.S. baseball player

I don't want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.

(1872—1956)

U.S. author

Women's intuition is the result of millions of years of not thinking.

(March 1987)

It's not a sin not to be Irish, but it is a great shame.

Son, don't ever brag about poverty, and don't be ashamed of it. Just get rid of it as fast as you can.

The pessimist sees only the tunnel;

the optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel;

the realist sees the tunnel and the light--and the next tunnel.

(1825—1895)

English scientist

Men are very queer animals--a mixture of horse-nervousness, ass-stubbornness, and camel-malice.

(1802—1885), French novelist

To dream is happiness; to wake is life.

God created women because He couldn't teach sheep how to type.

U.S. author, editor, and critic

Some people can stay longer in an hour than others can in a week

Forget living well. The best revenge is revenge.