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Jackie Mason

(1930--)

U.S. comedian

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

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Texas Guinan

(1878-1933) U.S. bartender A guy who'd cheat on his wife would cheat at cards. www.english-slang.com

cheat on someone

[cheat on someone] {v. phr.}, {informal} To be unfaithful (to one's wife or husband, or to one's sweetheart or fiancee). * /It is rumored that Joe cheats on his wife./ A Dictionary of American Idioms

Lily Tomlin

(1939--) U.S. comedian Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, […] www.english-slang.com

Jackie Gleason

(1916-1987) U.S. comedian The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. www.english-slang.com

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Alice Kahn

(1943--) U.S. writer For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three.

George Carlin - "Cats and Dogs"

Funny things about our lovely cats and dogs :)

all right

[all right] (2) {adj. phr.} 1. Good enough; correct; suitable. * /His work is always all right./ 2. In good health or […]

in case of

[in case of] also [in the event of] {prep.} In order to meet the possibility of; lest there is; if there is; if there should […]

Duncan Spaeth, Princeton professor

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark.

come to the point

[come to the point] or [get to the point] {v. phr.} To talk about the important thing; reach the important facts of the […]

strike one funny

[strike one funny] {v. phr.} To appear or seem laughable, curious, ironic, or entertaining. * /"It strikes me funny," he […]