M

(1923--)

English dramatistauthor

When you get to my age life seems little more than one long march to and from the lavatory.

(1839—1919), Irish scholar

Ireland is a country in which the probable never happens and the impossible always does.

(1938-- )

U.S. etiquette authority

A young lady is a female child who has just done something dreadful.

American actress

I'm looking for the truth. The audience doesn't come to see you, they come to see themselves.

American actress

You never have sex the way people do in the movies. You don't do it on the floor, you don't do it standing up, you don't always have all your clothes off, you don't happen to have on all the sexy lingerie. You know, if anybody ever  […]

(1689—1762)

English poet

I give myself sometimes admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it.

(1895—1990)

U.S. writer

Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.

(1914--)

British Conservative politician

All men are born equal, but quite a few eventually get over it.

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.

One of the best things about marriage is that it gets young people to bed at a decent hour.