S

(1856—1925)

U.S. artist

A portrait is a painting with something wrong about the mouth.

(1902—1968)

U.S. novelist

Father and son are natural enemies and each is happier and more secure in keeping it that way.

(1902—1968)

U.S. novelist

The profession of book-writing makes horseracing seem like a solid, stable business.

(1962--)

U.S. comedian

Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one?? Don't eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?

"Thoughts on Various Subjects", 1711

Every man desires to live long, but no man would be old.

(1667—1745), Irish author

A very little wit is valued in a woman, as we are pleased at the few words of a parrot.

(1667—1745), Irish author

No wise man ever wished to be younger.

(1667—1745), Irish satirist

We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love on another.

(1946--)

U.S. syndicated columnist

War is just another government program.

(1879—1953), Russian dictator

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.