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Voltaire

(1694—1778), French author philosopher

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

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smooth over

[smooth over] {v.} To make something seem better or more pleasant; try to excuse. * /Bill tried to smooth over his argument […]

so help me

[so help me] {interj.}, {informal} I promise; I swear; may I be punished if I lie. * /I've told you the truth, so help me./ […]