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That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

(1906—2002), Hollywood director

France is a place where the money falls apart in your hands, but you can't tear the toilet paper.

There is one exception to the rule "Never eat at a restaurant called Mom's." If you're in a small town, and the only other place is called Eats--then go to Mom's.

(1870—1942)

U.S. writer

A fool and his money are soon married.

(1829—1900), "My Summer in a Garden"

Blessed be agriculture! if one does not have too much of it.

(1829—1900), in the Hartford Courant ca. 1890 (often attributed incorrectly to Mark Twain)

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.

(1890—1961)

U.S. Secretary of Defense, 22 May 1955

It's futile to talk much about the past--something like trying to make birth control retroactive.

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.